Saying goodbye to someone or something you love is never easy. But it happens all the time in life. It doesn’t mean the love is gone. It just means it has changed or morphed or outgrown a heart’s size for myriad reasons. And for now, I am saying goodbye to something I love. It is with a heavy heart that I am closing The Nu Romantics’ Facebook group. It doesn’t mean The Nu Romantics are completely disappearing. Not now. Maybe not ever. But there are reasons why I no longer could put all my time into supporting a group at the expense of myself. It sounds selfish saying that out loud, but if there’s one thing I’ve been taught from writing—writing of ANY kind-- is that when we stop being honest, we have nothing to say that’s meaningful. I put my heart and soul into creating a group for writers and readers to come to explore and grow in a safe place. It was a place I got to fulfill so many of my creative urges. For anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you, my mind rarely shuts down. There is a creative side to me that’s almost a monster, gnawing at me, sometimes so voraciously, I completely lose myself. I’m constantly stopping to takes notes of ideas, writing, creating…and sadly, second guessing. I think a lot of us are like that. I’m not the exception. Without getting into too many details, I don’t think people realize the extent of work that goes into making a really successful group, and I’m not a half-assed person, about anything, a curse and a blessing. Some do realize it. Some joined us on the administration staff, only to realize how much work and dedication was required. At the expense of my own work and projects, I continuously put NuR first. Trying new things. Inventing new posts to engage people in an almost 1000-person group by its end. But I found when it came time for reciprocation, it just wasn’t there in the way I always dreamed. We, and our incredibly industrious PAs, were sharing and making graphics for people across all social platforms and commenting and encouraging people’s writing daily. We published two anthologies with no monetary compensation up front—collecting, editing, creating covers, editing, making graphics, editing (have I said editing?), and promoting and promoting and promoting. But The NuR family often remained silent during these times and the support only seemed to consist of a handful of people who really seemed to care or support those endeavors or understand the time and effort that goes into such things. To those people who were always there supporting the people in the group, and there are many, you are always a part of me and my growth and everyone else. And I thank you. You have marked me in the best possible way for life. That may sound bitter. It’s not. Please don’t take it that way. It’s a reality. NO ONE HAS MORE THAN 24 hours a day, that includes me and other admins. It’s not that people didn’t want to support (at least I hope so), it’s that none of us has that kind of time. We have lives. We have friends. We have families. We have lovers. We have full-time jobs. We write full-time too. A third full-time job? How? And yet, we admins were often expected to find time to support everyone all the time and when we didn’t, our inboxes would sometimes let us know.
So after months of debating and fighting with myself, it was time to take a break. I want to be creative. I want time to write. I want to support others. I, too, want support. And so starts a new chapter of how to balance the idea of success with that of support, especially when I have new releases or takeovers, how to balance creativity and time, and how to balance expectations with reality. The state of affairs in the world right now, especially in the US, won’t allow me to live on some cloud in the sky anymore. There is shit to be done. Work to do. And until someone devises a way to make more than 24-hours in a day, the reallocation of priorities is mandatory. Goodbye isn’t a word. It’s a feeling. And sometimes, goodbye feels right, but it’s never without sadness.
13 Comments
6/4/2020 14:11:35
I will always be grateful for you asking me to join you on The Nu Romantics. I have learned so much and made so many friends. Thank you for all you have done for us. Now go an fly and discover new horizons! Much love. xo
Reply
R.B.
6/4/2020 19:55:07
Old and new horizons! :) Not much is truly changing. :) But enough...Glad to call you a dear friend!
Reply
CJ CASSIDY
6/4/2020 15:38:28
I'm sorry to hear you say goodbye, even for a moment. I loved your posts, your ballet photos and our word play. You were the inspiration for my series; 'Tell-Tale-Hearts' and the reason I promoted 'The Hemingway Challenge' as a homage to your #Sixwords. I'm going to miss you kiddo.
Reply
R.B.
6/4/2020 19:56:26
Oh, CJ! I didn't know that about The Hemngway Challenge. That warms me! But fear not! I'm not going anywhere, just closing one group. :) So please, I'll keep sharing ballet if you do!
Reply
Mandi Calder
6/4/2020 16:54:06
I've met some wonderful people in the group. Your support for their writing was amazing. It's now time for you to concentrate on your writing and your journey. Love you 💜💜
Reply
R.B.
6/4/2020 19:57:01
As long as you're by my side to keep going.
Reply
Bryce Calderwood
6/4/2020 19:00:43
I'd rather see you focus on your own career. No group is ever going to give back the same efforts its creators put into making it.Call me selfish if you like but I came to the same realization just as a participant/contributor, which is partly why I decided to go back to being a member only. I look forward to seeing how you spend your time and energy now.
Reply
Joe P. Attanasio
6/4/2020 19:39:15
I’ve been where you are today. I have run a number of groups and clubs in my life. Everyone appreciates the activities, but most are happy to let someone else do the work. I never minded, or I wouldn’t have taken the responsibility on myself. Mostly, life’s challenges have caused me to give them up. There is a physical, mental and often monetary investment that one simply can’t continue at times.
Reply
R.B.
6/4/2020 20:03:10
Joe--Thank you so much for writing me. I worried it would offend people. Yes. One understands most who has been in the same boat. I'm still going to write and stick around, and I can't give up NuR entirely. It fuels my creativity too much. But letting go of the group will give me more focused time and direction. I'm not going to be going anywhere. You better not either!
R.B.
6/4/2020 19:59:46
Yes. I know this and understood it then and do now! Either way, it made our friendship strong, and that, I hope, won't ever change. Things won't be changing all that much--baby steps--but enough to refocus energy. Thank you. For everything you do and everything you are. I've learned and continue to learn so much from you.
Reply
Kathleen Spiers
6/4/2020 21:18:11
I am so grateful for the beauty brilliance and passion that has been shared in this group. You have given the gifts of you hearts and souls. For that, I thank you all. Each of you have opened my eyes and heart, stirred my feelings and my mind, and provided me a place of comfort and delight. Thank you for all your unending energy and your creative genius. You have a life long fan in me.
Reply
Tennille Walker
6/7/2020 17:47:28
I am saddened to hear the group is closing but I do know where your coming from.. I know how difficult it can be because as you said we all have busy lives, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you've done and wish you well and look forward to your next book as always... 🥰
Reply
Joe
6/16/2020 13:50:48
RB I'm sorry to see this group leave my FB feed, and yes I was one of them who did ot join in on a weekly. You brought out a poet I never knew was in me! Thank you so much
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Details
I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
Categories
All
Archives
November 2022
|