What a journey! First, I want to thank those of you who downloaded Thorne or who have already bought it. Further, A BIG THANK YOU to those who take the time to write reviews. Reviews are everything to us, critiques and all! But more than that. I discovered something through this process. Something quite profound really. It's a struggle as an author to get noticed, to get read, and to earn reviews. Some days I just want to throw in the towel. It's hard work to keep up with writing, social media, support of other authors, and a myriad of other things, while maintaining a full-time job and a real life outside of the virtual reality. Some days it just doesn't seem worth the effort. When Thorne was made free and I saw hundreds of downloads a day, it made me so happy. It made me happy to know that my work would be read, that someone else might enjoy the dark romantic story I had created all those months ago, that I would get to share a part of my soul with people. What I've realized this week is that my happiness from writing isn't about money. It isn't about "making it." I thought it was. I refused to give away my work, to make it free, for my hard work not to be appreciated as an artist, as a job, as my livelihood, to not be taken seriously as a writer, even if erotica my genre. My happiness comes from being read. Plain and simple. Sharing my writing. Getting feedback. Knowing that my work resonates with some of you. That we have all walked dark paths. Found love. Lost it. And feel alive each and every day in our romantic endeavors. That we connect emotionally as human beings. If my writing has touched you (no pun intended--okay, maybe a little), then THAT, that is what brings a smile to my face, that is what makes my eyes sparkle with success, that warms me inside in a way I didn't know possible. Sure. I'd love to make more money at this, more than the pocket-change, rainy-day fund money I've been making. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want as many people buying my work as I've had when I give it away. Of course I do. But the truth of the matter is: I love writing. I love exorcising my demons this way. I love learning about who I really am. What drives me. I love being creative. So I will not stop writing...and I have all of you to thank for that. I humbly thank you. Looks like you're stuck with me...at least for the time being. xo
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I made my first newsletter yesterday, something so small that took me so much time. I’m on such a learning curve when it comes to this stuff. But I did it, and I am quite proud of myself for getting it done. It’s nothing special. I don’t have but a little more than 100 people to send it to, but it’s another part of me and who I am that I share with the loyal friends and fans that I do have. If you'd still like to sign up, simply go to my home page here. It's a very quick sign up. rbobrien.weebly.com/ Some days, it’s just really easy to throw in the towel. To give up. To say—why am I doing all this? Why spend so much time writing and publishing? Sales fluctuate up and down. People rarely review. I’m not sure what works and what doesn’t regarding promotion and sales. The answer is simple, and I’ve said this before. I write because I am a writer. I write what is a secret part of me. I write what I can’t share in my real life. I write because I think I would implode if I didn’t. Yes. I write fiction for the most part. But with each tale I spin, there is a part of my real essence, a dark part of who I really am that manifests itself within the ink. It’s a safe place to express dark desires, kinks, and fantasies. It’s the haunted house you don’t really want to stay in but explore. It’s the movie you pray isn’t real and wish it were in the same breath, the living of it from a safe confine. With each story, I learn more about myself. And some of my stories have been censored, by me, by a publisher, by an innate fear of judgement. I wish I’d stop that. But I guess, I’m only willing to go so far, reveal just so much. I guess I’m not fully ready to admit who I really am…but I’m not ready to give up and stop the journey. So for now, I call myself a writer, because quite frankly, I have no choice. I am who I am, just different versions of myself. |
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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