THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS IS A GENTLEMAN--Shakespeare

Why am I so drawn to the dark and mysterious man? The man who warns me, who tells me he’s damaged? Why does a nice, sweet man, who gives me love and kindness daily bore me?

Recently a friend told me to search myself. To take time to listen. To hear what my soul had to say. To look deep into my childhood for answers. To find and discover who I am.

I have done so. There IS NOT some hidden answer to discover. There is not some dark secret I have buried. My childhood was idyllic, loving, warm. I had wonderful parents. A loving home. I wanted for nothing, though I did not have a lot of money. I did have unconditional love.

So I don’t know why I am the way I am. I like it dark. I like it dangerous. And I’m also too afraid to really embrace what I want. Fear. It’s a driving force in my life. But it keeps me safe. So I tip-toe around what I really need and want.  I get close to it, and then I pull back. I grab it and push it away. I teeter on the edge and never quite can fall over…

I welcome answers. But maybe there aren’t any answers to be had. Like so many things, not all things are that simple.