Have you ever woken up to find a friend has suddenly unfriended you? Or worse, “blocked” you? No word. No argument. Nothing leading up to it. A “break-up” that involves a gradual “letting-go” or growing apart, or one that involves disagreements that conflict with your moral compass or downright points of no return are easy to understand. Those types of “unfriendings” are simple equations. You’ve broken the bond of trust. Smell ya later.
But occasionally, someone you deemed a “close” friend decides it’s time to part ways for whatever reason. No notification or reason you can think of. You scratch your head and wonder: ‘Just what did I do or say? What could I have possibly done?’ And it begs the question: Can you have real friendships in a place that is virtual? Are we all floating around in delusional bubbles? Mixing reality with fantasy? Are we putting too much stock in a world that exists only in the ether of possibly our imaginations? Remember the days of middle school? You walk into your classroom, take a seat in your already-uncomfortable row of desks, and suddenly feel the air around you getting thinner? Jimmy sits in front of you and Margaret sits beside you and then begin to talk, while completing ignoring you, pretending you’re not there, using pronouns of ‘she’ and ‘her,’ instead of your name. You get glances not eye contact and you know, it’s your turn to be the odd man out, and you feel the ball in the pit of your stomach growing bigger as you know you’re about to be excluded and “unfriended” for a time, however long or short. Maybe you look at Margaret’s boyfriend too long or wore something she did the same day or got a better grade or had more compliments. Seems so trite, right? I thought those days were over. Sometimes, I get that same feeling right here as an adult, and I pinch myself to think it still happens. And it seems to happen a lot on social media. Some days, I think: It’s really time to get off this merry-go- round of middle school. I just want to write and grow and share it with people. It hurts when someone you looked at as a friend does something like that, shakes your belief in trust, especially when you’ve been nothing by a support to this person, a friend in the truest sense. Encouragement. Welcoming arms. Honesty. You know--that little word called friendship? Call me crazy, but I take the word seriously. Does it mean I’m perfect? No. Does it mean I don’t slip up and lose my temper and say things I shouldn’t? No. Of course not. Who on this Earth is? But when I really stop to think or write, as I’m doing now, I realize that I’m blessed here and in the flesh-n-blood life to have people who are real friends. I can count on them and trust them and know that if a problem arises between us, we’ll communicate, talk, work it out. If someone here wants to unfriend me with no discussion or doesn’t deem our friendship worth an unearthing of the problem or couldn’t care less about two sides to a story or taking the time to discuss something but instead clicks a magic button that says “Poof. You no longer exist,” I guess the old cliched adage fits. They weren’t friends to begin with. And I’m probably better off. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it stings. Trust is a difficult thing, and sadly, it’s not likely to change any time soon. We can only be who we are and grow daily to be the best person we can be. So while I may press the pause button occasionally, I will not press stop, not yet, not over that. No. Way. I’m stronger than that, even if some days, I may feel like the 8th girl, alone in a cafeteria lunch room.
5 Comments
Samantha
12/14/2017 07:48:48
RB. I know exactly what you feel. Heartfelt post as always. Cliche or not, it is true. Not a friend whoever this was. You can count on me. That will not happen. So happy to see you writing these again.
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David lee
12/14/2017 08:23:24
Well i know exactly how you feel .waking to an unfriending or blocking . Isn't a good feeling. Similar to the past someone causes so much trouble and being a friend to the person that created the bullshit and then denies even doing anything. I have rrusted and believed in what i thought were going to be TRUE friends. People i could fligh halfway across the. world to meet in person. As i have done in my Country. I met alot of people from another State of Australia drove 2000 kilometres to meet them . It was the vest time. But then there are the fake friends
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David lee
12/14/2017 08:36:09
During all this time. Alot of thoughts and apologies went out to people who i thought were true. I have found out that it doesn't matter what kind of man i am . Some people couldn't give me the time of day . . My only mistake i tagged my so called friends on social media. I moved on cery quickly and found inner peace . Being the true man my father would have wanted to be. You will always find people will hate you. Because Rosemary you have become an acknowledgement ibn this big world. People love you from far away lplaces . Im positive if you asked someone who you think would walk beside in a storm . I know i would help you through to tbe other side cause that is what true friends do . Uplift and support each other. Celebrate when it is called for. Just forget about those pathetic trolls that live in their little world complaining about life and who is doing what. They could do rhe same . If they didn't let fear hold them back. I don't want to lose our friendship ever again. Thankyou for letting me rant. Good night
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Energy
12/14/2017 09:29:16
It started in 5th grade, that once a week, one of the girls in the clique would be hated for one reason or another, and all the girls were expected to go along with it. It usually lasted about a week until it was someone else's turn.
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Samantha
12/14/2017 21:14:32
You're back. Not that you went anywhere i just mean your posts. Sorry I havent' been around.
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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