I read a lot of posts on social media that say "we used to" or I remember at time when...as if things were so much better, that people were so much smarter, that people valued so many more things they don't anymore. Recently, I read a post where someone lamented how wonderfully respectful we all used to treat one another, how things used to be, how we used to value literature and art and intelligence and God and a list of many other things. I wanted to respond. But there was no reason to. It would have fallen on deaf ears and would have just become contentious. People were commenting: "I know" and "100%" and all myriad of responses like that, not challenging the content at all but doing exactly what the post said it condemned: Lack of thought. While I see some validity in it, I do. I see what the advent and popularity of social media has done to many of us who look for sound bites and instant gratification, our research skills vanishing, our attention spans minute and impatient. But the post screamed close-mindedness to me, elitism, even worse. It read so narrow-minded, so condescending to any aspiring artist or writer today who values all those things listed and more that I wrote my rebuttal to just myself, not wanting to get into a contentious debate that was just filled with sycophants. It amazes me how sometimes we use arguments that don't add up, just to push our own agendas of what "good" art or writing or culture is, to push our beliefs onto others as facts. It still bothers me so much so that I finally share it with you. I'd love to know how YOU feel about it. We used to have segregation. We used to be wildly homophobic. We used to legally hit our wives. We used to disallow girls from going to school and women from voting. We used to own slaves. We used to burn ‘witches.’ We used to think the Earth was flat. We used to think the boogie man lived in the primeval forest. We used to believe homosexuality was a choice. It used to be okay to slap a girl’s ass at the workplace. And we used to lobotomize people with mental illness. Yeah, sure...let's go back to the way it "used to be." It was pure utopia.
6 Comments
Vida
6/20/2019 09:46:17
I agree with the person who made the post, to a degree. Some things were better then versus now. For example, Respect for our elders, respect for authority, basic human kindness and not only during catastrophes, talking to each other face to face, not through computers, knowing our neighbors, and not being required to have any personal accountability for the actions and choices we make in our daily lives. Too many want to blame others, such as manufacturers of an item simply because the person who bought it used it for nefarious reasons; you burned yourself with hot coffee from a fast food restaurant, so now its their fault that you're clumsy, etc. I could go on and on. I grow weary sometimes at how some things have changed to the detriment of society, yet I maintain hope and optimism due to some other things that have opened us up as a society to all types of new and exciting possibilities. Yeah... "remember when" and "when things were like" are indeed a double edged sword for some of us. There's good and there is bad in either scenario. I now relinquish my spot on the soapbox.
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Vida
6/20/2019 09:48:37
Apologies. It should read BEING required to have personal accountability for the actions and choices we make in our daily lives.
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R.B.
6/24/2019 11:46:06
I am thrilled to read such a thoughtful response! Not a soapbox at all. Insightful. I agree. Double-edged sword indeed!
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Donna Murnane
6/20/2019 14:48:48
I see it, and feel sad about it. I believe that it’s got a lot to do with parents who don’t think they have the time to spend quality time with their kids. I spent a lot of time with my parents and learned that if you wanted your children to be responsible, and respectful, then you have to put in the effort. I made sure that my son understood that if he wanted something, that he had to earn it. Too many people think they don’t have the time and that it doesn’t matter to their kids. I say that if you don’t want to put in the effort, then don’t have the kids.
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R.B.
6/24/2019 11:47:18
No doubt there are too many people having kids who shouldn't be. Our childhood, more than any other thing, shapes who we are as adults.
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6/24/2019 14:55:07
The past is another country, as has been said. But too many of us don't speak the language. It's so easy to make sweeping statements, based upon prejudice, lack of knowledge, inexperience, etc. Yes, we can always seek out today's problems, and there are a lot of them, but knowing how things have changed in my lifetime, and listening to how things were during my parents' childhoods, soon made me realise that we are slowly and hesitantly moving in the right direction. Both my parents were born in the 1920s, a time of world-wide depression, when the state did not support the poor and dispossessed as they do now. Then, if you lost your job, and became impoverished, you had to rely on family or charity, or you literally starved to death. They narrowly missed one World War, but arrived in time for the next one to take 6 years out of their lives, and nearly take their lives as well. They were born at a time when women weren't expected to be as educated or get the same jobs as men. When, if you were a teacher and married, you were expected to retire from teaching. When antibiotics hadn't been invented, and a scratch could cost you your life. When education for most people ended at the age of 14. When someone from a poor family could not afford to go to university, as happened to my mother. There are so many examples where things have changed for the better. And yes, you quote the example of physical punishment being accepted back then, even for young children. Today, children are still physically abused, but at least there are now laws against it. Today's young people are no worse than any other generation, and sometimes a lot better. My own nieces and nephews are polite, respectful, keen to rectify matters such as pollution and climate change. And there are millions like them. So I can't agree with those who want to return to the past, in the belief that it was a better place.
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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