SILENT LUCIDITY

3/24/2015

SILENT LUCIDITY

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For those of you who have read Temptation Natalie’s Edge, you’ll know what I’m referring to. For those who haven’t, you can still weigh in on your views regarding cheating in general.

When I first looked to publish the book, a few places rejected it but offered to publish it if I took out “that part,” stating: “Our readers don’t like cheating.”

I chose to keep the story intact. Maybe it was a mistake. Time will tell. And at the time, I didn’t really know why I felt so adamant about keeping it in there. I could have easily changed it, but something in the back of my mind kept saying, ”No. This is the story that came out. This is the story that Natalie wanted to tell.” Perhaps I was just being stubborn. But recently, I think I understand now what my subconscious was thinking as I wrote the less-than-perfect story of Michael and Natalie.

Okay. This isn’t easy for me…so let me take a deep breath. I realized something this week about sexual preferences and kinks. Not every one of us is the same. Not every one of us likes the same things in the bedroom. Not every one of us has a connection with BDSM or a desire to submit or to dominant or to be tied up or spanked or humiliated or whatever our kink might be. But those of us who do, probably didn’t always embrace it or admit it. Most of us probably hid it. Most of us probably still do. Wanting, craving…needing those things is not mainstream. It’s not “normal.” It’s not something you discuss with your friends or family while having dinner.

“Hey, Rita. I’d love to be tied up and teased until my head spins, until I feel like I can’t take anymore. I’d like to be left on the brink of orgasm and tortured until HE says when. How about you, Rita?”

No. We just don’t do that. So, some of us write. Some of us read. Some of us try to make our vanilla relationships as “un” vanilla as our partners will let us. But for anyone who has to live like that, who can’t embrace who they really are, not just who they WANT to be, but who they ARE, who they NEED to be, knows that it can be a living nightmare of sadness, unfulfillment, unexplainable mood swings, and even depression. It’s a long life. It’s exhausting and difficult and yes, even painful. I call it living in silent lucidity, especially once you do discover what you need and who you are, but know you probably can never attain it, not in this life anyway.

I think Natalie symbolizes this struggle. She didn’t want to admit who she really is/was. She didn’t want to admit she had these kinks in her. She knew, deep down she knew, but she didn’t embrace it, accept it, want it. It took Michael, yes it took cheating, for her to discover just who she really is—okay, it takes three books, some pain, a damaged dude who is close from perfect—but it is her journey, her discovery.

I’m sick of people faulting her (a character let’s not forget) for trying to find happiness. Her boyfriend in the story cheats too. People cheat. Get over it. It’s not right, and I’m not condoning it, but it happens, and in this case, Natalie needed Michael. She was missing a piece of her. She couldn’t break up with Scott first, because she simply didn’t know who she was.

And for someone who just can’t understand what that feels like? I say to you: You are the luckiest person in the world.

What say you? Please. I’d love to know what you think—whether you’ve read the book or not.

27 Comments

Anonymous

3/24/2015 11:49:22

I'm older. In my forties. Not sure how old the average person is who reads your books but I think this post is so interesting. I can TOTALLY relate to this idea. I am married and I read ALL THE TIME to fantasize. The darker the better. Your book, no offense, wasn't as dark as I usually like, but I do love the torture he puts her thru time and time again. LOVED that. My husband has no idea what I might really want. I am extremely moody. Sometimes almost addicted to reading. And need a lot of time alone. Masturbation is what I do. I just think it's too late for me...but fantasy is good.

R.B.

3/27/2015 00:29:23

Hi Anonymous,
I have no idea what my target audience is. All I know is that I hope I'm still thinking about sex when I'm in my forties, my fifties, and beyond! My grandmother (who shall remain nameless but who is my idol) read 50 Shades! And she said: Too much filler! So don't let age dictate any of that. We are as old as we make our minds up to be! (Yes. I did just steal from Abe.)

Natalie Webber

3/24/2015 13:07:04

I really don't get why people have a problem with characters making mistakes and being flawed. I've said it before - it makes them real. I think you are right when you say Natalie did not know what was missing until she met Michael. Yes, she cheated. Does this make her a 'bad' person? No, it makes her human. I'm not condoning cheating but I do think if a person is unfaithful it's a strong sign they should not be in the relationship in the first place.
Fifty Shades of Grey has done a lot for bringing kink/BDSM into the public eye, especially since the film came out. People are talking about it all the time - there was even a report of an eleven year old boy going to school dressed as Christian Grey for World Book Day (which I found disturbing) but it just shows that maybe that kind of lifestyle could become more mainstream. Here's hoping.

3/24/2015 13:43:59

R.B. Obrien! You are one funny shit. Isn't that a Queensryche song?!! Did you think you could get away with that?
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to not be who you are. Sadness? Fuck that. Go for it. I can tell you right now though that "un" vanilla (cute) as you wrote is never going to happen without the right person. You either are or aren't into that. Email me offline and I'll talk to you about that, places, sites, etc. unless you are only talking about your characters. ;)

Ana Antunes link

3/24/2015 14:04:23

I totallyagree: LIFE IS TOO SHORT... MAKE IT A BIG SHOT! That's my motto and the name of a book, written by guess who? Anyway, I've got tons to talk about this cheating issue and I went through only the first two chapters... more to come. Wait for the review... Cheers

3/24/2015 14:31:13

Hahahaha! You caught me and my fetish with Queensryche. (I also love Iron Maiden--sssh. There is no better riff than the one from The Trooper. Period. I don't care. And I can play it better than anyone. Sort of. In my mind. Keep that between us.)
Life may be too short, but when you're in a trusting, caring relationship, where someone loves you and takes good care of you, sometimes the "sex" aspect gets left behind a little. It's not that easy, J.
And Natalie, I still have yet to see the 50 Shades movie. Did you? Was it good?

3/24/2015 20:55:42

I loved the Fifty Shades movie. The sex scenes were far less explicit than in the book though, but I can see why they had to tone it down for mainstream cinema. They still managed to capture the essence of the book and the characters - definitely worth a watch :)

3/24/2015 14:38:34

Oh no, Ana! Nail biter!

S.D.

3/25/2015 00:29:54

I don't understand. Every show we watch, every movie, everything out there, has elements of disloyalty, cheating, deceit. Isn't that part of good drama? We're talking about people who read dirty books, erotica, right? Can't the moralistic bullshit kind of be taken out of the equation? What? Romance can't be 'messy'? Stupid.

DevilsThorn

3/25/2015 06:48:18

Kinks and fetishes are the only things in BDSM that everyone (who is into it) share. The beyond vanilla conformity and darker tastes are what we all have in common. But what sets us apart in this is WHY we are here. The answer to that "why" is simple, yet the explanation is complex. We are drawn to it by one of 3 things: Curiosity, preferences, or the NEED. There is nothing wrong with being a curious kinkster dabbling in it. And those who prefer the darker side have experienced tastes that they like better than the bland side. Then you have those who were MADE for this- by life. By often traumatic experiences that they had no choices in the matter of. A demon was awakened them that liked certain experiences, and wants to experience it again, and again. And the more you deprive it- the more it fights you in desperation to feed. Those who have this need often struggle with themselves because they often don't feel "normal", yet they want to.

No matter why you are drawn to BDSM, if you have fallen in love with a vanilla, and have built a vanilla life- it's quite difficult to say "fuck it, life is short, be yourself" when being yourself is quite complex and a part of you is sure to be judged by "normal society". And how easy is it to tell your vanilla lover about your darker than normal fantasies, needs, and desires?

Some fantasies should remain just that. Some desires should be realized and met. The hardest thing about it all is finding the right person to explore being "real" with. One who will support you, not judge you, or use the closeted skeletons you reveal to them against you down the road.

It takes a lot of soul searching to determine if your fantasies are just fantasies, dark desires, or actual needs. During that search, life happens. Love comes. And it's often mostly vanilla. Cheating IS wrong. In every way. It is selfish and blatant betrayal. No one can have their cake and eat it, too. But when you realize you are NOT vanilla, yet your significant other is- you start struggling with yourself. And if you actually LOVE that nilla wafer- the struggle turns into an all out war with that hungry, carnal demon. The only advice I can give on this- don't weigh your options without considering the consequences. And realize that most couples are NOT completely open and real with each other. It's human nature for us to have our proverbial walls. If you're hiding a big part of yourself from someone you love- you're not being fair to them or yourself. More than likely- they are being as real with you as they possibly can be. And they expect you to be doing the same. Are you? More importantly - are you being real with yourself?

Don't throw away love to try to fulfill a fantasy.

A deep desire should be at least explored. And can be hard to do while keeping your moral compass in tact if you explore it with someone besides the one you committed to.

The dark needs- the demon that is driven by them can be subdued but NEVER killed, no matter how hard you fight it. It can only be tamed when you find a happy medium, at the very least, to feed it from time to time. But even the tamed demon will buck up and go wild sometimes.

Cheating is always the result of not cotrolling your demon or your lust, or both. Recognizing if you have a carnal driven demon, or mere lustful curiosities and desires is the 1st step to controlling whichever it is.

But the unbelievably strong bond that can be had in a true BDSM relationship without walls.....mmmm....that is an enticement not many can turn down....if they ever find it.

I would never be able to forgive or forget being cheated on. Yet I have not been faithful to one single soul. Not even to the one i love more than life, itself. I even cheated on the girls I cheated with while I was cheating. And I've found out the hard way- cheating causes damage that can never be completely repaired, and leaves horrible scars that will always be noticed. But in this blog that I took over- we are talking about a fictional character in an erotic story (which I have not read). So fucking what. Putting yourself in the character's shoes with no control of how it's going to go is the whole point of a novel. Hasn't everyone read Frankenstein? Would we all have made the same choices as Victor? No. At least, we don't think so. But did we love him any less because of his choices we didn't agree with? I didn't. Have you seen Natural Born Killers? Would you do some of the shit that Mickey and Mallory did? No. But we loved that sinister, evil beautiful couple - because of the things they did that we would never do. It's FANTASY.

I'm not proofreading this. So overlook my fucking autocorrect and run-on sentences. Thinking back on how I jumped around and rambled about senseless shit- I will be surprised if I hit the submit button. But I will sure hit a submissive girl's button....and spank her ass- whether she wants me to, or not.

3/27/2015 00:30:29

Devilsthorn,
Looks like you've got some answering to do!

Sam L.

3/25/2015 08:27:45

Wow! I am enjoying this blog. Cheating is a hard thing. Like anything in life, once you say NEVER, you know it's just bound to be broken. There are no NEVERS in life. Cheating does occur. Noone is perfect.
What I find interesting about our discussion and the BDSM community (by the way I did not really read the book as BDSM--I know, I know. He ties her up. He teases her. He withholds orgasms. Yadayadayada. But it was just a relationship with those things. No safe words or contracts. THANK GOD. That's why I really liked it.), is that there always seems to be this 'dark' part of it. Like it's got to be bad. It's not. Not if it's what each partner needs. The darkness described by last post is a different thing maybe. It's a kink for sure but not all of us have traumatic experiences. I did not. I love the things Michael does to Natalie (and I like much darker things). I love reading about them and I like to be in relationships that test me--still searching for that. I worry sometimes that there might be something really wrong with me because I did not have a traumatic experience and yet I like pain and other things.
What I don't understand, though, is how a person can say cheating is totally bad and wrong and admit it would crush them but do it to someone else, over and over. Now that IS wrong. Is that part of BDSM? I think not. That is a moral issue though. Natalie's infraction is very different and as everyone has pointed that out here. Who has complained about it? She's a character in a book! Come on! Just my two cents.
Looking forward to the second book! I hope he's meaner, Rb!

3/25/2015 08:48:56

Do you, play the guitar? For real?

Michael Dalton link

3/25/2015 09:30:28

Oh good grief (to the critics, not you). Since when is infidelity off-limits as a dramatic device? The Great Gatsby? Lolita? Hamlet, FFS?

I get that readers who want to stay within familiar tropes don't like mixing in certain complications, and fine, if that's what you want, stick to it.

But as an author, a far greater crime than the infidelity of your characters is your infidelity to the story. I think Temptation would have been a weaker, less gripping romance without those complications. Without them, how does Natalie crack Michael's shell? Without that challenge—realizing he wants a flawed, imperfect partner despite his wounds—he goes on being a smug, entitled asshole (he's still an asshole, but he's seeing the light).

Now, having said all that, I understand why infidelity is tricky with BDSM because it cuts very close to home for some people—those struggling with the unfulfilled kink issue you discuss. I've personally known marriages that broke up over this stuff, and others that at least ran onto the rocks. Far more, I'm sure, suffer in silence.

Still, you've got to write what you write.

W.H.

3/25/2015 13:26:34

As for me, I have yet to read your book. Will be starting this weekend. Your FB and blog have me more then intrigued and has given me more of a feel on what the characters are about. I have read some hot, dark books that have BDSM in it, not ashamed to say that deep down, it's a fantasy. 50 Shades paved the way for writers like yourself for erotica since its become a phenomenal success worldwide.
BDSM is in fact a lifestyle. Take it or leave it, since it's a fantasy of mine I'll take it in black and white. But who doesn't want a good hair pulling, spanking, tying up, etc?
Cheating CAN be a touchy subject. The ones that don't like it, move on. But in fact a faithful relationship is hard to find, a honest man is rare. I've been cheated on by every man I've been with. Does it leave scars? Hell yes it does. Does it make you weak? Hell no it doesn't, it makes you stronger and smarter. Am I ashamed to read it in a book? No! I think it makes for a more interesting read, makes you want to know what's gonna happen next. THAT'S what makes a book hard to put down. Dark erotica is just that, dark. It's a fact of life that either no one wants to hear or read about, ashamed of that fact of life, embarrassed, or has you relating to the subject in hand. I relate to that due to my past experiences, which will make this book a good read for me. I'll take the kindle edition over a paperback any day, if no one puts it on paper because of the cheating subject so be it. This is your baby, your project your so proud about and I applaud you for keeping your feet grounded and making the right choice.
Now as for Queensryche and Iron Maiden.........KEEP ON ROCKING!!!!

Julie link

3/25/2015 14:32:41

Hey R.B.,
Well, for a start it looks like I'll never get a book published....;) I love the dirty, gritty, dark stuff....cheating, threesomes, BDSM, I'll read it, it's FICTION!!!! A lot of people forget that, yet they still watch all the Romantic Comedies where there's always a three way love interest, someone is always cheating, it makes for good viewing, and good reading. I'll pass on the soppy love stories any day.

First off, I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING....BUT, and yes there is a BUT.....I am very open minded, some have said I'm too open minded, because my opinions are often very different to everyone else's.

I WILL NOT judge any person who has cheated, NO I WILL NEVER CHEAT, EVER!. But the reality is no one knows the intimate details of some one else's relationship, people are looking at it from the outside, judging, their beliefs often stemmed from the values their parents have bought them up with, or perhaps they've had a bad relationship and may have been cheated on or seen it happen to someone they love.

I agree it tears families apart, friendships, everything is ruined, I've seen it myself. But what goes on inside someones head is very personal and no one really ever gives every part of themselves away. I hate to judge people, it's unfair, it's cruel and it's unnecessary. BUT, if it was me, I'd probably have a different opinion in the 'real' world.

As for books, go for it i say, the juicer the better. I've heard people say they will check reviews/books first to make sure there is NO cheating, NO threesomes, NO BDSM, NO death/suicide/murder, NO whatever, I mean come on, it's FICTION, it's not real, it's not supposed to be real.
People want to read fantasy because it's NOT REALITY. Let's face it, reality can be boring!

Oh, one more thing, I cannot stand people who write reviews and say negative, disgusting, horrible things about the author because of their writing style/genre, that is WRONG! You're reviewing a book, not attacking the author.

If you don't like it, don't read it I say..

3/25/2015 14:52:41

DevilsThorn - I think you are right in that there is a difference between those who are curious about kink/BDSM and dabble in it and those who have the need to be that way. I am sure you are right in saying it can stem from traumatic experience but I believe there are those who were simply born with that need, it's a part of them. I don't believe being a submissive is a choice - you either are or you aren't. I'm going to bring up 50 shades again because is it mentioned several times throughout the books that Anastasia is not submissive by nature. She tries to be to please Christian and does enjoy the kinky sex, but if she had the choice she would choose a vanilla/normal relationship with him. The point I'm trying to make through my rambling is that you can act the part of the submissive and have a lot of fun with it (nothing wrong with that) but someone who is truly submissive doesn't act - he/she just is.
With regard to the safeword/contracts - this is a tricky subject. Maybe more hardcore BDSM does require safewords, but if two people are in a loving trusting relationship, knowing each others' limits, openly communicating etc - is a safeword really necessary? In my opinion - no. I would like to think my partner would instinctively know if I was not happy or comfortable with something.

3/25/2015 16:08:07

I put m y comments to all of this in a new blog. I had too much to say! And that was before I read the last of the comments...J, yes, I play guitar, very poorly, but I come from a whole family of "artists" (or so they say)-guitar, piano, drums, singing, dancing. All amateurs who think they aren't. Do you?

And W.H. -- Welcome to my world. Judas Priest too? And then of course, on the complete ridiculous other spectrum, I'm actually going to a Taylor Swift concert. Absurd! RWA Conference and then T.S. I'm a fucking walking contradiction. :)

Les

3/26/2015 09:02:29

...But for anyone who has to live like that, who can’t embrace who they really are, not just who they WANT to be, but who they ARE, who they NEED to be, knows that it can be a living nightmare of sadness, unfulfillment, unexplainable mood swings, and even depression. It’s a long life. It’s exhausting and difficult and yes, even painful. I call it living in silent lucidity, especially once you do discover what you need and who you are, but know you probably can never attain it, not in this life anyway...

You know what this exactly sounds like? What gay people have been fighting forever. It reminds of that Macklemore song Same Love. "There is no difference." I wish people could be who they want to be and not be judged...as long as they don't hurt someone else. To some of the other posters here: Cheating hurts the other. If a person won't condone cheating, they themselves should not be doing it. It hurts--a lot. If you KNOW you can't be faithful, if your just going to cheat on someone and then cheat on that someone with another someone, at least be honest with the person you say you 'love'. If they know your going to do it, it is their stupid ass decision to stay. I don't care how good the sex is.

In the book though, that wasn't the case. Natalie was living a very BORING vanilla life. Scott cheated with his sexy boss too. Some things are just not meant to be. So...I don't know. The book is different in that it makes people think a bit about things beyond sex. The characters are really interesting. I like them. I don't dislike Michael either. I LOVE his darker side. Something definitely was "traumatic" for Michael. But it's the opposite I think. He doesn't want to live it again. Need to know more! Keep on rocking and writing, Rb.

3/26/2015 11:18:01

Honestly, Les. What an unbelievable comparison. Thank you for that insight. You're right.

As far as my characters making you think, I appreciate it. I just wrote it. I wasn't thinking much except for a very rough outline. I got a full-time teaching job at a local college, and it was the first time in my life I had basically May-August off. It was the first time I was able to write consistently, instead of writing shorts here and there.

I'd get up and write all day until about 3 or so. I'd go back and have no idea where I had gone. Honestly! What a trip. Natalie's Edge came out of it. Good or bad. That is their story.

And you will learn more about Michael. I promise.

3/26/2015 14:17:55

DevilThorn has some good points to his comment. Cheating is definitely a demon. And every demon needs to be dealt with appropriately. But the one thing that I cannot get past is the I cannot forgive or forget being cheated on, but went on about cheating on his love with one and on to another. In that sense what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Don't expect to cheat and not have a backlash. Like I said he gave a very good descriptive comment which was a good one. Mixing a vanilla with a non vanilla and making yourself happy doesn't work. It makes that non vanillas demon hungry for what it wants. Oh I completely get that. But is it necessarily hungry for what they want that they arent getting with their vanilla partner or the thrill of it? In my opinion it's a mixture of both. I've been there done that myself which has me leaning more towards on how thrilling it is to explore your needs.

Sir

3/27/2015 07:41:47

Sweetheart. There are plenty of real men out there who can give you exactly what you want and need, give you the pain you desire and the pleasure you want. Push you but also know when is too far. I have not read your work but by everything I've seen of you so far, you just need to stop playing and go after what you truly need. Loyalty, being faithful. It comes with maturity. Don't settle for a boy. You need a man. An experienced man. Don't be shy. You know what to do. You don't have to hide.

3/27/2015 20:08:17

Ok...so I have cheated. Both giving into lust and feeding my demon. It's nothing I'm proud of. And had I figured things out about myself then- as I have now- I would have never cheated any of the times. I have learned the real damage it does. And just because I've cheated doesn't mean I should give a free pass to those I've cheated on to "pay me back". No- I can't forgive or forget someone who cheats on me. And I don't expect anyone I cheat on to forgive me or forget that I did it. I'm not holier than thou. The whole reason I brought up the fact of my infidelity is to elaborate on the fact that I KNOW the damage it does.

Now to another subject- who thinks all nuns, good samaritans, nuns, maids, June fucking Clevers, and wives (and/or husbands) who gets pleasure from pleasing others, or being the opposite of DOMINANT is into BDSM? Just because you have a submissive nature, or are naturally submissive- because you were born that way- does NOT automatically hurl you into BDSM. Why do so many people think that? There are natural Dominants (jerks, assholes, bitches, or just born leaders) who have or want nothing to do with BDSM. Old fashioned women (and a lot of very conservative women today) who believe that the man is the leader of the household- the king, and that it is her role to serve and follow him, treating him as such. That's even a Biblical belief. And a lot of men feel the same way. So does that classify them all as BDSM kinsters? Do they live the lifestyle? Where does this thought process come from? Perhaps people who think they are drawn to BDSM because they are "naturally submissive" needs to do a lot more research on what BDSM is. And those who are into the lifestyle do not have to be "naturally submissive" OR "naturally Dominant". So- back to my point that those who NEED this lifestyle...those who love to please because they have been like that their whole lives does NOT necessarily give them the need of BDSM. What may draw the natural submissive to the lifestyle is the bond that can be had between a true Dom and submissive- which is very romantic. But let's not forget what the initials of BDSM stand for. Bondage. Domination. Sadism. Masochism. D/s- Domination/submission. Just because being submissive is a thing in this doesn't mean all submissives "belong" here. Not all submissives want to be DOMINATED. Because being dominated means JUST THAT. Not guided, or gently nudged. Fucking DOMINATED. OWNED. PUTTING THE SUBMISSIVE IN THEIR PLACE AND KEEPING THEM THERE. But...with it being consensual.

Someone asked how they could get their significant other to venture into BDSM. Well- be honest. Express your desires. See if you can ease them into it. Ask him to yank your hair a little when you fuck. Or get him to smack your ass, or lightly choke you, or to get a little rough with you. Hell- tell him to fuck you like he owns you, or like he hates you. If he obliges, and he likes it- you're on your way. But if he doesn't get into it- tough luck. Vanillas who can not get into BDSM are a completely different breed than those who are into it. We even think differently. Consider this- your lover asks you to wear socks on your hands as you sing Jimmy Cracked Corn and blow spit balls at their tummy as you kick them in the thigh every third time you start the song over, all while they masturbate while standing on their head. They want you to do that because it drives them wild- it helps them cum hard. As ridiculous as that sounds to us- our "fetishes" and needs and desires of BDSM seems just as ridiculous to them. They can't fathom why we would like the things we like. You can't fault them for it. They think differently. And they simply don't understand. Don't blame them for being Vanilla. They can't help that any more than you can help that you're NOT vanilla.
Can you bring a vanilla over? Sometimes. But it's rare. They may experiment with you. They may like some of it. But a true vanilla is never going to cross over completely. And they will tire of the "freakiness". That fucking sucks. I know. It's not fair- especially if we are in love with a vanilla. But...it's how it is. Trust me. I've tried converting them. Now I have realized that they can not understand because they have a different thought process. They will never see why it is a need for someone. But- try to get them to dabble. They are sure to have fun. Just don't expect your vanilla guy to suddenly become Mr. Domly Dom of all Domdom. Not gonna happen. And to try to get one who does dabble with it for you sometimes to Dom you EVERY time. He will get sick of it. And for him to cater to your desires, doing things to satisfy you- you shouldn't forget that he is vanilla, and he probably has vanilla desires that you also need to cater to.

R.B. I've taken over your blog here. My apologies. I'm not trying to steal your thunder or act like an authority in these matters. If anyone would like to debate or comment or butch at me for anything- hit me on Twitte

W.H

3/28/2015 12:50:36

DevilsThorn, you have a interesting way of putting things. You have given much insight into this topic. You got right to the point in your comments in both a dark and somewhat comical way. Life is what it is. I look forward to seeing more of what you have to say in the future. Interesting Twitter btw.

Lauren

3/30/2015 06:11:49

First time here. I just read book. I think BDSM means different things to different people. Someone somewhere here said that the book didn't really read as BDSM. I think there are elements of it in the book and I like the elements in it. I don't like the true BDSM, I am your dominant, we will fill out a contract, you will have safewords, and I punish you. It could be because it's too foreign to me or weird. I like a good tie up, to be spanked, hair pulled, tickled, denied orgasm (probably why I like this book so much) but the darker BDSM, harsh punishments, spankings with canes and implements of torture, no. Does BDSM always have to include the S/M part? Can it be just a little? One part and not the other? Who says what BDSM has to exactly be. Honestly, the story reads like a kinky romance for me. I like that Michael is kind of fucked up. I want their happy ending but I can wait for it. I'm into angst. I don't fucking care that she cheated. It doesn't offend me that these characters seem so real. I really like that. I read the sex scenes over and over (sorry--I skipped a little to get to those scenes because they were so fucking HOT). I can't wait for more but I hope it doesn't spiral into the --we are going to sign a contract, decide on hard limits, what you will/will not do, ect. I want it to just be a normal fucked up relationship. Why do elements of BDSM always have to be deemed dark or taboo. It's part of life to experiment with sexual things and push some boundaries. How boring life would be if people didn't push themselves.

Teresa Noelle Roberts link

4/30/2015 02:57:27

I don't generally condone cheating in real life, but it does happen, for all sorts of complicated reasons and sometimes it's what people need to do before they either end a nonfunctional relationship or fix it. I see no reason it should be shut out of fiction. The romance community is a little weird that way.

5/2/2015 01:12:40

Thanks for you input, Teresa.
And welcome!

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.

Sometimes i think too much...

SILENT LUCIDITY

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