Oh! The Things We Hide...Stop Apologizing for Being Human.

How many of you masturbate? Look at all those hands! LOL! Duh. We all do, don’t we? Seriously, is there anyone who doesn’t? Do you ever wonder why some things have become completely taboo to talk about or to admit? Can you think of other things we don’t admit or lie about? Where has all this denial come from? Religion, I think, would be the quick and fast (no not masturbation—you, dirty minds, you!! 😉) answer to this question. But what of other things we hide, especially in public, silly things?
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For instance, don’t pick your nose in public. My mother always said NEVER to do this. Get yourself a tissue and do it discreetly. Okay. But why can’t I pick it, put it in the tissue, and throw it in the trash and then wash my hands? Seriously. Another—don’t pick your wedgie. Heaven forbid someone should see you sticking your finger in your ass. Heavens no! Get yo’ butt to the bathroom and deal with that shit privately. Or better yet, suffer with it and pretend it’s not there! (For you masochists—you don’t count!) 😉

Okay. Okay. I’m sure some of you are cringing and pursing your lips and saying, “Ewwww…” We can understand these things. These things are just…GROSS… and you can probably think of a few, even “grosser,” examples. I’ll concede!

But what about other things? Things that aren’t GROSS? Kissing, for instance. We’re told not to do this in public. Remember those no PDA days? My goodness. You might make someone feel uncomfortable, and we can’t have that! And what about crying? How many times have you bit your lip, hard, trying not to allow tears to flow down your face, and even in situations where you damn well SHOULD be crying, forcing yourself to think of rainbows and butterflies, anything but the feeling that is rising up into to throat, about to overflow at any moment. A funeral perhaps. Or at a movie theatre, where you must continually apologize for being…human!

Why must we hide what fundamentally makes us human? Things we ALL DO! Dogs? They’ll eat their own crap for goodness sake and make no bones about it! Cats? My god! They bath their whole bodies and lick themselves clean! (Bet some of you wish your tongues were that long and your bodies that flexible!). And then there’s the gender norms (and strictly speaking American norms here). Girls shouldn’t sweat or burp or laugh loudly; but boys—no problem! Have at it! It’s encouraged even!

Hiding human frailties, as trivial and cheeky as this post seems, is asinine. There is no one among us who doesn’t do these things. It’s as natural as breathing, and yet, we’re made to feel inferior or lesser than or guilty if we indulge in these things and by whose standards? Who came up with this? Today, I decree kissing as inappropriate frivolity that cannot be done in public. Stamp.
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I wonder—would people have less mental health issues—depression, anxiety, etc.—if we started small? We want to blame big things—TV, video games, the internet, high-stakes testing—but it may be as small as realizing, a teardrop is beautiful. And being uniquely human is a gift not a curse. Aaah…and there’s another. Cursing! Well, fuck this! I, Rosemary O’Brien, admit to all those things above and more. Don’t like me now? Oh well…in this case, it’s not worth crying about. But if I feel like it, I will. And I won’t apologize for it. In fact, this post has got me thinking a good round of masturbation might relax me, I’ve gotten so riled up writing this. But don’t worry. 😊 I’ll do it behind closed doors.