Hi all!
It’s been a while since I last blogged. Sorry about that. Here’s what’s been up:
Seriously. The relationship I was pursuing was intense. Insane. Full of passion and angst. Misunderstandings. Miscommunication. But man. It was alive! Full of energy and new ideas. It made me question myself and my life. What do I really want in a relationship? Here is what I concluded: WHAT I WANT: I want passion. I want to be pushed to my limits. I want trust and respect . I want the sex to be hot and passionate and even unpredictable at times. I want to be cared for. ABOVE ALL, I want to be loved and understood. WHAT I DON’T WANT: I do not want a narcissist. I do not want someone who is insensitive to my feelings. I do not want to be walking on eggshells at every turn. I do not want to be made to feel like I must be perfect. I do not want someone who expects things of me that he is not willing to give. AND! I do not want to mix fantasy with reality ever again. My takeaway from all of this? I’ll stick to writing tumultuous, passion-driven novels with flawed male characters like Michael L. Black. But in my real life, I’ll be sticking with my sweet, kind, and trust-worthy man. Angst be damned! I’m sick of the all the pain that comes with it. How about you? What MUST your relationship have? What can you live without? Because as we know, nothing is perfect. Or is it?
20 Comments
Natalie Webber
5/2/2015 02:21:39
Wow, sounds like you've been through a tough time of it. Hope you're ok.
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R.B.
5/3/2015 10:53:47
I know what you mean about jealousy! If your man doesn't get jealous, even a little, it sure doesn't seem like he cares much. I'm with you! The problem: I'm usually the more jealous one and I think, deep down, most men like that, even if they say they don't.
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S.D.
5/2/2015 05:00:50
Hi R.B.!
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J.
5/2/2015 14:13:48
Glad to see you are back!
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Leslie
5/3/2015 02:37:49
Perhaps it wasn't really love as discussed before, no? Lust instead. Glad you can see the difference.
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W.H.
5/3/2015 07:38:34
Glad to see your back, sorry to see you've gone through a hard timeand I think we all missed you. What I can live with and without in a relationship is the same as you. But the #1 thing needed is trust. Without it, is a life filled with Hell and sadness. Can't wait for the next book to come out btw.
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Josephine
5/3/2015 08:30:44
Relationships are a complex subject for me. I have bounced ftom one 'vanilla ' relationship to the next all my adult life, never feeling truly fulfilled. Not because of any fault of the men in question - I was struggling with my desire to be dominated, and controlled sexually. Unable to face the stigma of 'coming out ' publicly, I am now having those sexual needs fulfilled by way of an online Dom, who controls my orgasms. It satisfies me sexually - I love the feeling of desperation I get from being denied orgasm and I know he loves making me desperate. But what is missing is the physical presence of a ma, someone to hold me and comfort me and vice versa. He is amazing at what he does - kind of like Jonathan from the Mind of a Sadist series - althoughnot quite so dark. For now I am sasatisfied with the online only relationship but I know I will eventually want more.
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R.B.
5/3/2015 10:52:01
Hi Josephine!
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Josephine
5/4/2015 13:17:19
I already do want it to be real but am reluctant to broach the subject for fear of scaring him away by seeming too needy. Our online relationship is somewhat one sided - he knows far more about me and my life than I do about his. I kind of like that air of mystery but I know it can't go on indefinitely this way do I guess time will tell.
R.B.
5/5/2015 13:58:11
Hmmmm. Needy? I can see why you might be in need of both emotional and physical support. Where does the relationship take place? Where online? And you do exactly what he tells you to do? No cheating or breaking the rules? ;) I wonder why we do that when they can't be certain! It's so real, isn't it?
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Josephine
5/5/2015 22:07:17
We message each other through a website where we met, and yes I do exactly as he tells me but if it's something I'm not comfortable with I tell him and he understands. I know I could easily cheat but I feel I would be cheating us both if I did that. Yes, feels very real. I feel he has invaded my mind as well as my body, in a good way :)
R.B.
5/3/2015 10:55:52
Thank you to all for welcoming me back. Was it really that obvious? And even as I wrote this blog I wondered if things were really over...who knows! It changes like the weather. And I live in New England. That's saying something...
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Stephen
5/3/2015 23:28:07
Girlfriend and I look forward to next book.
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Sir
5/6/2015 00:39:22
You girls, from R.B. and down. You need to start picking the right MEN. Not boys. A real dom UNDERSTANDS his sub's needs. I beg you caution.
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Samantha
5/9/2015 03:41:37
I had a really passionate relationship that ended so poorly it took me three years to move on. I almost had a nervous breakdown--some may say I did. I lost weight, almost lost my job. He enjoyed mental cruelty. There is a fine line between passion and abuse. I am now happily married to a man that is the best father to our children. To me, that is the most important thing to me. That's why I read your books. I can't have that in my real life anymore but I can enjoy it from afar. Looking forward to next book.
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8/24/2015 05:19:59
For someone many describe as "complicated" I have rather straightforward needs - someone who would treat me as a lady in society, as a submissive slut in private and as a partner when it comes to daily life and communication.
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R.B.
8/29/2015 05:30:38
SO well said. I think we are kindred spirits!!!
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12/13/2015 19:39:08
How much do I love this? Let me count the ways. I want a relationship predicated on 'want', not 'need'. I want someone who makes me laugh...and often. Games are for kids so if you want me, tell me. I want a man who embraces my dark side with equal passion to my light. I want a man, not a child.
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12/10/2017 09:13:56
The qualities I look for in a man are intelligence (nothing more sexy than an intelligent man!), humour (nothing more sexy than someone I can laugh with), someone who gives me space to be me (I am allergic to obsessive needs to do everything together!), someone who doesn't want a 'mother' (ugh! absolutely not!), maturity (I want a man, not a little boy.) Fussy, aren't I? In return I'll give him the best BJ he's ever had - and a lot more besides!
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12/10/2017 09:17:48
Oh, and I forgot to say, sorry about the breakup. Been there, done that (several times). It hurts, but will fade with time. Don't give up looking!
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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