“The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world all to themselves.” ― Roald Dahl, The BFG Writing fictional romance, for me, is a Catch 22. Without it, I wither, but too much of it and I lose myself, my true self, the self of my waking world, aka, reality. It’s an odd occurrence to dissolve into a character’s mind or two or three, to lose oneself within their story. Coming up for air is hard. It can almost feel like the life of a madman. It can be quite upsetting when a story you spent a great deal of time being a part of comes to an end. And it is emotionally taxing to go into that world of writing and to feel it so viscerally that to come out is sometimes a daunting and difficult task. The story must end at some point. It can’t go on for eternity. And getting your bearings back is a tough task. True, you can go back and read your stories, over and over again. I do that with my favorite books all the time. As a teacher, I am often forced to read the same novel or play, again and again as I teach it, and the great ones never really get old. I get savvier about the themes. I understand the characters and their motivations more. Symbols or imagery that I may not have noticed now become visible. Rereading a text one loves is peaceful. A slice of heaven. So why is writing a story you love so different? It just is. There is something to be said about closure when writing. When it’s over, you take that breath, and say those famous two words: "The End." The story is complete. The denouement has most likely been written. And though sometimes you and your readers might imagine what the future looks like for the characters after the last page, it is still time to move on. Their story has been told. It is time to start fresh. To start a new story. A new chapter, filled with new characters and struggles and triumphs. It is time to say goodbye to the past. It is very much like relationships. They don’t all last forever, and the ones that matter or mattered hurt tremendously when they’re over. But when it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on. Period. It’s hard as hell, and it’s even harder when closure doesn’t quite exist. Without closure, it’s almost impossible to move on. And if a person repeatedly opens and closes doors, it can become a vicious cycle of pain and heartache. But we have choices. We don’t have to open the doors again to the same repeated offenders. It doesn’t matter if the breeze they let in is refreshing or exciting or invigorating. It will only leave you chilled when they walk out it again. You know this. You’ve let them do it too often. You can only accept the word sorry so many times. You don’t owe them second and third chances. Their patterns have been established. You know who they are. And so, while I envy Roald Dahl and his writing routine, I don’t have what it takes to dedicate my every day to it. Perhaps that is why I will never be great. Perhaps I am far too emotional of a person. I feel too much. To live a life of perpetual starts and stops, relationships beginning and ending far too frequently, is exhausting, even as I scream to myself, “It’s only fantasy! This is fiction.” When submerged like that, it doesn’t feel that way, and truth be told, it almost always isn’t. I get too lost. I get too caught up. My subconscious comes through. And becoming that invested and then having to say goodbye like that...I’ll never get comfortable with it. Yes. It can be cathartic. It can also just be draining. Aren’t the starts and stops of our real-life relationships enough? I am thankful for small epiphanies that light my path and show me my limits. Every day is another learning curve in my journey of self-discovery. And I get a little stronger every day. I have my own special “witching hour” where I let the darkness shine, and that window is enough for me…for now.
16 Comments
J
3/6/2016 10:09:17
Passion is you. A blessing and a curse for you. You live in color.
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R.B.
3/8/2016 15:17:45
I often don't feel that way.
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Gary
3/6/2016 10:56:58
This article hit home and has truly inspired me. You have a keen understanding of how the ebb and flow of relationships take a toll on us as we navigate daily life. I myself just experienced an episode that parallels yours and your thoughts are so smoothly articulated in experience that the words just stream out effortlessly. The same is true for your book "Thorne: Rose's Dark Contract". You at the top of your writing game as a Romance novelist as far as I'm concerned and I look forward to more from you.
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R.B.
3/8/2016 15:18:42
Thank you, Gary. I'm glad that you found you could relate. Your kind words touch me. Truly.
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Samantha
3/6/2016 11:43:44
I'm not a writer so I can't quite understand that aspect of this. I can understand the idea about heartache. Breaking up with someone or being forgotten by someone you spent ever moment with is so painful. The part about closure struck a cord with me. It feels like abandonment when that happens. It can spiral into depression even. Maybe that is why so many writers become depressed. they keep going through the heartach of breakup. that's a thought isn't it?
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R.B.
3/8/2016 15:19:45
I've never thought about this. As usual, you make me think. Writing helps me stay out of depression. So, for me, it's a saving grace!
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3/6/2016 14:18:48
I write every day and, although I am sad when a particular story ends, I always have another project in the wings waiting, almost demanding my attention. Writing is emotionally draining, though, I agree. After a marathon writing session, I feel as though my mind is mush and I can't communicate with the others in the household beyond a few syllables. I like how you refer to the "witching hour" when the darkness breaks through...I love that! Another great post, RB. I love your insights.
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R.B.
3/8/2016 15:20:38
Thank you, Amber. Perhaps I just need more time in my day...like all of us.
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Mandi
3/6/2016 14:39:38
So many things you have written here, speaks to me. I understand about loss and closure. The choices we make. I myself, read not write, I love the passion and the characters that are created by you in your 'witching hour'.
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R.B.
3/8/2016 15:21:57
You are so right! Someone recently told me that he thought, perhaps, someone, somewhere told me that being emotional was a bad thing. He was right. Another step in discovery.
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S.D.
3/7/2016 07:19:50
The good news is that now you're in a new story. Get cracking. I want part 2.
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Bianca
3/7/2016 14:26:18
I visit with my characters everyday and if I'm lucky I have the time to write down the things they whisper in my ear. As dark as my stories can get, I see immersing myself in those worlds as an escape into a place that is uniquely mine, my Narnia if you will. But I can well understand that the world you create in your head can be as taxing emotionally as the reality you live through. It is a gift and a curse to feel it all so keenly.
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Bianca
3/8/2016 15:22:37
Beautifully written. How right you are!
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Master
3/9/2016 14:43:47
RB--Relationships can last. The right relationship and the right man can alleviate all your worries and fears. You are not drawn to the dark man as one of your previous posts. You are drawn to emotional abusive assholes who claim to be men who are boys mentally. There is a difference and I do hope your self discovery you mention can get you to see that. I am sincerely wishing that for you and I know you will get there because you are smart and lovely.
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As relationships go I've had two wonderful men both with their own qualities to love. The failure is on my part not theirs. A story for another day. But feelings are what motivate me to write. The inspiration abundant and when I finish that poem story or book ... One of two things happen either you feel complete or something is missing...
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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