Some days I want to pack it in. Give up. Move on. Start over. Go somewhere really quiet and just listen. Listen to what the universe is trying to tell me. Listen to who I am, where I’ve been, and where I want to be. I’m reminded of a John Mayer song that states: By the time I recognize this moment, this moment will be gone. It’s true. We are so busy. Life is so hectic. We spend so much time living up to the expectations we have set for ourselves or the expectations that were once thrust upon us that we miss moments. And moments are never actually lived in the moment. They are lived more in the memory of that moment rather than having embraced and felt the moment as it happened. Be the good daughter. Be the great student. Get the perfect job. Marry well. Buy a beautiful house. Have children. Retire. But then? What’s left? There really isn’t much left after that, is there? Well. We know the answer. It’s death. That’s what’s next. And it seems pretty damn final. And so I write. I write my life. I write to escape real life. I write to live moments over again. I write to rewrite the moments I’ve lived over in a way that makes more sense to me. I write the moments to heal. I write the moments I hope never happen. And I write the moments I hope will happen. As Shakespeare wrote above, living really isn’t about material things. It’s the experiences we have had. Our eyes. What we’ve seen. What we’ve lived. More importantly, it’s what we feel. That makes us rich. If I stay stuck in this place forever, what will I have seen? Is it enough? Yup. Some days, I wish I could pack up on those “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad” days and I say, “I think I’ll move to Australia.” But then I remember. There are still terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, even in Australia. But love? Love can be found anywhere. And I have seen love. And perhaps, that is really all that needs to be seen after all.
25 Comments
Lea
1/31/2016 11:56:53
I agree so much because I am ready to do that
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R.B.
1/31/2016 13:57:58
Want me to come pick you up?
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Beautiful post, RB. Writing to escape, absolutely!
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R.B.
1/31/2016 14:00:06
It's crazy how much of my emotions are found in my characters, Ashlee. Sometimes, I have no idea until I go back and read it.
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Master
1/31/2016 12:03:14
Oh boy. Back to that? You can find your slice of happiness Rb. You will. Sometimes it does take a move. Hopefully not all the way to Australia. I know why you're saying that. Just breathe. I think you just need that forehead of yours kissed.
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R.B.
1/31/2016 14:01:08
Yeah. Perhaps I do. Thanks. This too shall pass.
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S.D.
1/31/2016 12:11:45
I say to go. Go explore your dreams. In the land of virtual friendships you will always have us. I believe if you feel you need to start over then you should. Take your characters with you and we will still follow you. You have us. Find yourself goo friend.
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R.B.
1/31/2016 14:02:08
Easier said than done. And we both know that! Or it would be done already. Right?
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1/31/2016 12:43:13
Great post! Writing is a way to escape and to explore our emotions. I like how you say it's to relive a moment. I believe that's one of the greatest purposes of a writer, to relive moments and to share our experiences that will touch others who may be unable to articulate what they're going through. Excellent post!
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R.B.
1/31/2016 14:04:01
Thanks, Amber. Sometimes reliving the moment in a safer place brings some kind of closure too. And sometimes it's completely subconscious.
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Bianca
1/31/2016 14:47:31
Great blog RB and I wholeheartedly recommend seeing as much of the world as possible. But having done just that 5 times now, I recommend you do it on a good day and because you want to, not because you are disillusioned with the life and or love you have.
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R.B.
2/4/2016 20:08:29
What a smart and true way to look at things, Bianca. Sometimes, though, it is our disillusionment that finally gets us to do the things we should have long ago. And it might lead to freedom.
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1/31/2016 17:25:18
I like the notion of writing to revise things that have already happened to us in a way that makes them make more sense. I think I'm doing that with my next WIP.
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R.B.
2/4/2016 20:09:04
Or at least how we wished they had been! It's our chance to perhaps write that happy ending.
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R.B.
2/4/2016 20:09:58
Thank you, Sherri. I look forward to reading your work finally!
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J.
2/2/2016 07:09:00
But have you found love? The truth starts with an honest examination.
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R.B.
2/4/2016 20:10:49
Yes. Love can be found in so many places. I'm just not sure what it is that I'm after or what is missing...THAT is the question.
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Dee See
2/5/2016 11:01:42
R.b. ... I'm sorry to read this from you! From my perspective there is much more than those itemized elements of success to life. Some of it is just in relaxing and realizing what those actually mean to you and how important it was to others that you have affected. Your love of ___ (fill in the blank) has already been inculcated by many and shared with many more. You've been recognized for that and can revel in it. But, what does that mean for the future, how can you capitalize on that and find a "next" ... It is up to you! But first of all be happy, and the "next" is not death, that is the end.
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R.B.
2/5/2016 11:43:14
Thank you, Dee. YOU always made me see the cup half full. ALWAYS. And that's one of things I love about you. But, I'm still going to have those days. I am lucky to have your friendship.
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Sir
2/20/2016 22:31:03
I am sorry to read this. Are you okay? I have been away and yet I always need to check on you. Even through your sadness I see your strength because you love with such passion. Let it be.
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9/23/2022 13:47:59
One of the sad things about today’s world, is how people constantly rush to pack in more and more experiences and success. Sometimes it’s good to take the slow road, so you can pause and reflect on people, and moments of joy, and experiences gained. You may one day realise that happiness wasn’t where you expected it to be, but somewhere completely different.
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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