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I remember when I was first introduced to Anais Nin. I was taking a class in college entitled, "Feminist Perspectives on Society." It changed me forever. On the second day of class, I raised my hand to comment on something, and I used the word 'girl' rather than 'woman.' I was ripped to shreds by many in the class. It made me question myself. It made me question who I was. And it especially made me question whether or not I was really a feminist or not, something I had always identified myself as. When we began to read Anais Nin in the class, I found myself mesmerized. Excited. I realized I liked her ideas and philosophy, and I also realized that the idea of domination and submission was a huge turn on for me. Her writing sparked debate. It sparked arguments. And it sparked, in me, something I hadn't realized about myself. I embarked on a journey of erotic awakening and I never looked back. I still consider myself a feminist today. Here is a snippet: Anais Nin diary entry 1932 - “I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” What are your feelings about it? What opened you up to erotica and discovering your true self? Would love to hear your thoughts.
9 Comments
Natalie Webber
3/19/2015 05:48:00
A thought provoking quote indeed. It's not easy for a woman in today's world to admit that she likes to be dominated whether in the bedroom or outside it. Women have much more freedom and choice than ever before but to me it seems we're expected to choose the independent, career woman kind of lifestyle, which is great for those who want that but there is a certain stigma attached to those who don't, they are viewed as weaker by some.
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R.B.
3/19/2015 15:04:49
I have never done the chat room thing. I'd love to learn more bout that. Why do you start doing that? I'm fascinated. Twitter, Facebook...Goodreads...that is as close as I've come. And it's all brand new for me! And of course, I write under a pseudonym! I doubt that will ever change...though my closest friends know I write, they will never learn WHAT I write. How sad. :(
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Natalie Webber
3/20/2015 08:49:54
I frequented the chatrooms when I was in my early twenties - carefree, single and a heck of a lot braver than I am now. I haven't done it for years but now I'm thinking it might be time to revisit. I don't know why I'm so scared to do it now though.
J
3/19/2015 22:55:40
I think the word feminist has gotten a really bad name over the years. I'm not sure Anais Nin would have classified herself that way. What I love about that piece is that she explains that you can be independent and in control in your life but in the bedroom, it may be different. It's pretty heady stuff but I love how she isn't afraid to admit what she needs from a man. I like when she says femaleness--maybe people say they wish they could be a man, that it's a man's world. I love being sexual. Being a female is fun. I think it has something to do with nerve endings! Like she said, it doesn't mean we're not smart and intellectual. Not being in charge is freeing. Feeling sexual is a part of that. My first leap into erotica land was with penthouse magazine. We had a lot of fun with those stories/letters!
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S.D.
3/20/2015 08:32:52
I haven't read Anais Nin. Should I? I do know that I make my own money, have a sassy mouth every day, but when it comes to sex, I like it hard, rough, and I do NOT want to be in control. There isn't a damn thing wrong with it.
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Sue
3/22/2015 03:27:36
Hi!
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Leslie
3/22/2015 03:38:43
To Sue:
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Stephen
3/22/2015 05:56:35
Your story made us laugh--girl. That's the ONLY name my GF wants me to use--baby girl, good girl, bad girl, naughty girl. It's a term we love. Saying, 'naughty women' right before a spanking doesn't exactly do it for us. lol
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Dee See
12/6/2017 16:48:05
My maleness and sexual self became apparent early as my physical development happened and then my mother also encouraged my artistic side by giving me a drawing book that included nudes. It wasn't erotic, but it was my first exposure to the female form naked despite the fact that I had two sisters - for whatever reason they had no existence in my development. From that point it was furtive exposure to cartoonish female forms until my first Playboy - wow what an awakening, although it did give me a poor understanding of what was valuable in the female form and it took me more than 10 years to realize that large bosoms weren't necessarily better in terms of responsiveness or sexual stimulation for me or her.
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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