Okay. I’ll admit it. I love Romeo and Juliet. It’s a timeless classic. I’m a sucker for any love story filled with passion and pain. Love at first sight, young love, first love. All that. I’m a romantic at heart. There is something beautiful in the upsweep of first falling in love or falling in love fast, spontaneously, unexpectedly. The “creek after thaw” as Linda Pastan writes in her poem, “Love Poem.” That. Perhaps that is why I had Natalie and Michael fall so quickly in love in the Natalie’s Edge series. They are both sort of lost. Unfulfilled. Knowing they’re missing out and yet not fully knowing. The sparks fly. The passion fuels. The lust explodes. And the love grows. But it doesn’t do so without pain. Without obstacles. Without some heartache. It’s fun to read, especially if it’s a romance, because romance, by definition, means a happy ending. But perhaps why Romeo and Juliet remains so universal and timeless is because it doesn’t fall into the constraints of romance. We all know: There is no happy ending in Romeo and Juliet. And what about real life? What happens when you fall so fast for someone that it’s completely inexplicable? Unexpected? When something you always thought was mere fantasy, an illusion of the romance novel, now becomes real? It happens to you. You feel it. It happens within a blink of the eye. You know it’s real. Your body tells you it’s real. The constant thrumming of your heart, your body. The pitter-patter of pulsing excitement. The longing you feel when you’re not with or talking to that person. And worse, what if it’s forbidden? Not acceptable? The wrong time at the wrong place. Is there going to be a happy ending? Probably not. As soon as it starts, it’s almost certain to end. That kind of feeling. That kind of passion. It takes its toll, doesn’t it? And now you find yourself in a sort of Romeo and Juliet of your very own. And it hurts. And it’s out of your control. And it’s no longer fun because you’re not reading it, you’re living it. You then ask yourself: Wait. Is this love or lust? Obsession? Infatuation? How do you know for sure? Have you been in a love-at-first sight type of situation? Your own Romeo and Juliet? Do you live by the motto: Better to have lost at love than to have never loved at all? I have been there. Am there. And I'm not sure which side of the fence I'm on. Is the pain worth it? I’m still trying to figure that out. Would love to hear your stories! Share.
26 Comments
W.H.
4/10/2015 13:14:27
Hmmmm, I do believe in love at first sight. Has it happened to me? Yes, but it's not with the person I am with now unfortunately. Shit happens. I do live by better to have lost at love to never have loved at all. I'm not in the perfect relationship, wish I was. What girl doesn't want to have all the romance and butterflies? Losing at love teaches one how strong they can be. To me love at first sight is a fairytale and something we read in books. But this is just my opinion.
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R.B.
4/12/2015 09:51:23
Wait a second, W.H.! Your first line and your last line contradict each other...hmmm. Which is it?
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W.H.
4/13/2015 05:57:38
Yes it shounds like I did contradict myself, but my explanation us simple. In my mind I believe in it, but in my reality it is a fairytale.
Sir
4/10/2015 13:50:13
Rb,
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R.B.
4/12/2015 09:52:51
You keep telling me that. Easier said than done. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in middle school?????
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Sir
4/12/2015 10:03:04
;)
S.D.
4/10/2015 13:55:45
yes. Love at first sight. I had it with you. Til I found out you were not a guy! Ok. I'll stop badgering you about that. lol
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Natalie Webber
4/10/2015 14:18:42
I fell in love not exactly at first sight because I met the man online (back in the early 2000s in a chat room) We talked a lot and I felt a real connection with him, like somebody understood me properly for the first time in my life. After a few weeks we met up and I went to bed with him. I felt even closer to him after and he kept telling me we were soulmates (in my defence I was 20 years old and very inexperienced so someone saying that to me had my heart fluttering). I was deeply in love and thought he felt the same.
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R.B.
4/10/2015 15:19:18
Holy shit, Natalie! We need to talk. That is unbelievable. You have mentioned your chat rooms before. Of course I was intrigued, but now, I think I'm all set! What a complete dirt bag that person was. A game? My head is just spinning right now! What did you say? I hope the sex was at least good!
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Natalie Webber
4/10/2015 20:38:25
I was in utter shock at the time and I rode home on the train in a daze. The last thing he said to me was that he had done this to loads of women but I was the easiest by far to get into bed (ouch!). He certainly didn't do much for my self-esteem.
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J.
4/11/2015 03:19:30
It's amazing how many assholes are out there. Give all us guys a bad rap. My advice is to never trust someone who you establish a relationship with online, in chat rooms. Meet them first. Make sure you tell someone where you'll be. Make sure it's public. If it works out from there, that's different.
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Natalie Webber
4/11/2015 05:39:07
That's the sort of advice I would give my 20 year old self if I could :)
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J.
4/11/2015 04:19:59
A P.S.
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R.B.
4/12/2015 09:50:44
J, I already did! :) Not much else to say. I will say, though, that I liked your advice. It is true. This online stuff is daunting and deceptive. Caution. Flashing red lights. Yes. I understand what you say. Thank you. You know I always welcome your advice here or wherever you contact me.
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Leslie
4/11/2015 06:51:29
Someone I dated once said this--Lust is the person you want to fuck and love is the person you want to take care of when they're throwing up. I have always remembered to never confuse love with lust. To find both would be the best thing. I am still searching for that. RB--if you have found that person that you want to fuck and you want to pick up their vomit? It's love and don't make excuses about the where and the when or the 'forbidden'. No such thing if it's real. There's your answer. If it's just fucking? Then fuck and forget the rest.
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R.B.
4/12/2015 09:52:08
I LOVE THIS!
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Leslie
4/12/2015 10:21:50
Hi RB. Sometimes I feel like there are multiple conversations going on here! I have to read between all the lines to get at what's really going on. Are we talking about online dating? Facebook? Chat rooms? What? Or was that just from another comment?
R.B.
4/12/2015 11:59:10
Man! You guys are quick buggers today!
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D.H.
10/5/2015 06:35:43
Great blog Rb. 1 comment. If you feel love it should not be forbidden. Are you just making excuses? Usually it's driven by fear. What are you afraid of? Start there and the answers will come to you. If you can't face your fears you will never find true love. Maybe you don't really want to.
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DeeSee
1/22/2016 11:00:59
R.b., having read the first of the many pieces you have and will write, I can now tell you that you have just captured my real-life story for all to read. Of course the perspective is backward (you looked from a female perspective and I am male) and the "BDSM" elements weren't there, but the immediacy, the love, the lust and angst of the relationship are right on.
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1/22/2016 15:47:42
I met my husband in a bar, he proposed three weeks later, we were married six months later--truly the love of my life. All passion and intensity. Gorgeous man. He died ten years ago and I still think of him as "the one." I am certain that when I die, he will be waiting for me on the other side for another dance with a wink and a smile. Don't discount fast and furious passionate roller-coaster type love affairs. No, we didn't have a "happily-ever-after"...but we loved each other with an intensity that will be hard to match in the future. No regrets here. :)
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Jimmy C
2/14/2016 16:46:26
Yes, the pain is worth it, the toll we pay for love is worth every penny, every tear, and every heartbeat...
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Mandi
9/11/2016 15:12:51
Lust at first sight happens..... love at first sight no..... Deep soul shattering love happens over time, it takes time to ignite that spark and make it burn.
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9/11/2016 17:31:41
Though I write romance, I don't necessarily believe in love at first sight. Lust. yes. Love takes time, energy, and that other stuff that make you believe this person is the one. In fact, I don't think I even liked my husband when we first met. He was rather cocky. But, when I got to know him, I realized he was the sweetest guy in the world. And yes, he's still a bit cocky. However, I do love reading love at first sight romance stories and movies. I guess that makes me a bit weird.
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CB
9/11/2016 22:31:26
Hey RB, wow what a great post! In the midst of that now…what a longing for her when I am without. We hit it off very quickly, connected so strongly, but encountered jealousy issues with the latest resulting in the lost of a good friend of mine. Felt he and my love were somehow communicating…no smoking gun, but several uncanny coincidences. I am so deeply in love with her that I can't stand to be away from her. We broke up over it. They both deny it. I deleted him from my life, knew him for over 2 decades. Have known her for 6 months. As I tell her, I have never experienced such an intense connection, such passion, such love. It seems scary at times, to be so close to someone and think she might be chatting with someone else. I suggested that had they had contact and it was innocent, just tell me. No admission. Torn, so torn, going crazyyy!! I am a writer, too, and see a juicy story in this situation. When we were apart for 3.5 weeks, we had constant contact, explosive stuff!
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I LOVE to write and read. I particularly enjoy reading erotic romance that has tons of emotion in it. I hope you will ask me questions and share your favorite authors and novels. I welcome all feedback.
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